The Morning Newspaper & Crapping

What is the best time to read the morning paper? While crapping of course! Don't agree? Why? You need all your attention focused elsewhere? Can't concentrate on the news?

The answer is Multitasking. Ask Dilbert. Or me.

Okay. What was this about? Oh yes. I remember now. My mornings are blighted. Yes blighted. The blasted newspaper walla refuses to deliver my paper before I go crap. Woe is me. I have tried everything. Everything I say! No luck.

Please please please. Help Me!

How do I get the paper walla to deliver my paper in time for my morning crap?