Sniglets - A

ABANDABAG
(uh ban' da bag) n. The suitcase that keeps going around and around the luggage carousel.

ABRACADAVITY
(a bra ka dav' it ee) n. The unexplainable phenomenon of having a toothache disappear the moment you walk into the dentist's office.

ABSORBIMAX
The point at which a sponge starts spreading around liquid instead of soaking it up.

ABZOT
(ab' zaht) n. The device in a currency changer that determines whether a bill is too wrinkled or not.

A.C. ARIA
(ay cee ahr' ee' a) n. The dull hum of fluorescent lights.

ACELLOYELLOS
(a sel' oh yel' oz) n. People who speed through caution lights.

ACCIDUE
(ax' ih dew) n. Small pile of broken glass, chrome, and other debris that remains at the scene several months after an accident.

ACCOMOMAMMADATION
(a kom' o mam' uh day' shun) n. The inconspicuous manner in which a woman adjusts a fallen bra strap.

ACCORDIONATED
(ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

ADAM 69
(ad' um six tee nyn') n. Two cop cars parked in opposite directions exchanging information.

ADHOKUM
(ad' hok um) n. In commercials, the belief that because the actor is wearing a white lab coat, he must be an expert.

AEROBICROACHER
(ayr oh' bi kroach ur) n. A person who gradually gravitates toward another's space while exercising.

AEROBUCKS
(air oh' bux) n. The money you paid to join a health club that you stopped going to after the first month.

AEROMA
(ayr oh' ma) n. The odor emanating from an exercise room after an aerobics workout.

AEROPALMICS
(ayr o palm' iks) n. The study of wind resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car window.

AETS
(ehtz) n. Greek symbols on water fountain handles.

AFFEINIC
(a feen' ik) n. The panic which overcomes you when you realize your coffee cup is empty, and the meeting just started.

AGE OF CLAUSABILITY
(ayj' uv klaw' za bil' ih tee) n. The point at which we stop believing in Santa.

AGONOSIS
(ag uh no' sis) n. The syndrome of tuning into "Wide World of Sports" every Saturday just to watch the skier rack himself.

AGREGENDA
(ag ruh jen' duh) n. Events you write in your appointment book but forget to attend, or just dread going to.

AIRCAPPED
(ayr' capt) v. To be temporarily crippled when the airline passenger in front of you drives his seat back into your knees.

AIRDIRT
(ayr' dirt) n. A hanging plant that's been ignored for three weeks or more.

AIREPT
(ayr' ept) n. Fear of wiping out an entire shelf of souvenirs with one's luggage in an airport gift shop.

AIREY CAREY
(air' ee kare' ee) n. The guilt felt after using the electric hand dryer in a public restroom because it keeps running long after your hands are dry.

AIR LASER
(ayr' lay zur) n. The stream of high-velocity air above your airplane seat that can be adjusted to: (a) sting your face, (b) sting your ear, (c) sting your hair.

AIR LOIN
(ayr' loyn) n. Unidentifiable serving of meat given as dinner on airplane flights.

AIRPLAUSE
(ayr plawz') n. Gratuitous ovation awarded a pilot on completion of a safe landing.

AIRPUNT
(ayr' punt) n. Any of a series of kicks that advances one's baggage toward the airport counter.

AIRSUPIAL
(ayr soop' ee al) n. On an airplane, the pouch in front of you that holds the airsickness bag and in-flight magazine.

ALCATRASH
(alk uh' trash) n. The garbage floating in the San Francisco Bay.

ALEXASPERATION
(al ex ass' pir ay shun) n. Forgetting to give the final "Jeopardy" answer in the form of a question.

ALFABETORATE
When looking up words in the dictionary, silently reciting the entire alphabet to find the letter you need.

ALFALFABET
(al fal' fuh bet) n. Backward letters used only on clubhouse doors.

ALFRED HITCHCOOKING
(al' fred hich' cooh king) v. Continuously stabbing at a block of frozen vegetables to make them cook faster.

ALKASLUDGE
(al' kuh sludj) n. The white powdery residue that remains in a glass after you drink one of those fizzing antacid medications.

ALL-TEMPA-CHOICE
(all temp' uh choice) n. Trying to decide whether to put a stranger's wet clothes in the dryer or to leave them in the washer in an empty laundromat.

ALPHAFLUB
(al' fuh flub) n. Any mismatched letter on a movie marquee (i.e., Fetal Attraction, Running Sacred).

ALPOGOALIE
(al po go' lee) n. Any dog smart enough to use its paw to pin down a dog dish.

ALPOLECTIC FIT
(al' po lek' tic fiht') n. Convulsive state of a dog upon seeing you arrive home in the afternoon.

ALPONIUM
(al po' nee um) n. (chemical symbol: Ap) Initial blast of odor upon opening a can of dog food.

ALPOPUCK
(al' po puk) n. Any empty dish pushed around the kitchen floor by a dog trying to get the last morsel.

ALPOSAPIEN
(al poe say' pee an) n. Dog that looks more human than canine.

ALTEATRAZ
(al tee' traz) n. The small leaves that manage to escape from tea bags.

ALTICHEWD
(al' ti chewd) n. The point during a flight when ninety percent of the passengers are yawning and contorting their jaws in hopes of regaining normal hearing.

ALTIPULP
(al' tih pulp) n. The few remaining magazines (Poultry Digest, Ultra Triathlete, etc.) you come across when you go to the rack for reading material while in flight.

ALUMINERD
(a loom' ih nurd) n. One who attempts to smash a beer or soda can with his foot, but who doesn't quite center the blow-thus sending it flying across the room.

AMAZINGRAZIN
(uh may' zin gray zin) n. The ability to cut a piece of cake with a little plastic fork on a flimsy paper plate while holding a big drink, a cute little napkin, and a cup of nuts.

AMBIPORTALOUS
(am bih port' ahl us) adj. Possessing the uncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and always pushing the locked one.

AMBIVIGLANCE
(am biv' ih glance) n. The half-smile and semi-wave you give someone you think you know, but aren't really sure.

AMPLIFICATION
(am pli' fi cay' shun) n. The act of having the checker embarrass you in front of the entire supermarket by checking the price of a personal item over the loudspeaker (i.e., "Sam, how much is the Ex-Lax?")

ANACEPTION
(an a sep' shun) n. The body's ability to actually affect television reception by moving about the room.

ANAFONDICS
(an a fon' diks) n. Exercising to a workout album at 16 RPM.

ANAGATHA
Any mysterious item that appears on your desk.

ANANANANY
(an a na' na nee) n. The Inability to stop spelling the word "banana" once you've started.

ANCESTORY
(an ses' tor ee) n. Grandparent's theory that no matter how rotten your life is, they had it worse when they were your age.

ANCHORITY
(an chor' ih tee) n. A group's final, hard-fought decision on what toppings to order on a pizza.

ANDRE AGGASSEAT
(ahn' dray ag' ah seet) n. The really tall chair the tennis umpire sits in to get a bird's-eye view of the court.

ANTALIXIC
(ant a lik' sic) n. One who passes over licorice jellybeans.

ANTENNAEEEING
(an ten' ah ee' ing) n. When the hair on your arm touches the hair on someone else's arm.

ANTICIPARCELLATE
(an ti si par' sel ate) v. Waiting until the mailman is several houses down the street before picking up the mail, so as not to appear to anxious.

ANTICKED
(an' teeked) n. The feeling you get when you see something you used to own but threw away-which now goes for $90 at a flea market.

ANTSPANTSERGETIC
(ants pants ter jet' ik) n. A city jogger who feels compelled to stand in place and run furiously when he comes to a stop light.

ANXIETEE
(angs eye' it tee) n. A golfer's nervousness when teeing off on the first hole.

APPCRAMLICATION
(ap kram li kay' shun) v. Squeezing vital statistics (such as name and address) into the miniscule space provided on a form.

APPLAFLAMMAPHOBIA
(ap la flam uh fo' bee uh) n. Fear that upon departing for vacation, you've left an appliance on that will burn the house to the ground.

AQUABLOCKS
(ah' kwa blox) n. Ice cubes that aren't quite "done" but that you use anyway because you don't have time for them to fully solidify.

AQUACOUSTICS
(ak wa koo' stiks) n. Sound waves in the bathroom that enable anyone to sing on key.

AQUADEXTROUS
(ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

AQUAGORY
(ahk' wa gore ee) n. The horror stories you hear from mothers who tell you not to swim after you've eaten.

AQUAIT
(ah' kwayt) n. The time allotted at the drinking fountain for the warm or "old" water to flow before you can drink the cold or "new" water.

AQUALIBRIUM
(ak wa lib' re um) n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.

AQUAMORTIS
(ak wa mor' tis) v. Continuing to water a plant weeks after it has died.

AQUELLO
(ah kwel' oh) n. The brilliant yellow that distinguishes all waterproof materials.

ARACHNIDIOT
(ar ak ni' di ot) n. A person, who, having wandered into an "invisible" spider web begins gyrating and flailing about wildly.

ARG (AUDIO RETINAL GYRATION)
(ay ahr gee) v. To move the head in a circular fashion while attempting to read a rotating record label.

ARENASNEAK
Embarrassment experienced after moving to a more expensive seat at the theatre or a sporting event, and getting caught.

ARPING
(ar' ping) v. The act of rotating one's head in an effort to read a record label.

ARROGAMATICS
(aer oh' guh mat' iks) n. Bevy of celebrities who don their own "personal scent" and then name it something overblown and frivolous.

ARROWNEOUS
(ayr ow' nee us) adj. The quality of one who drives against the arrow in a parking lot.

ASCOT DU JOUR
(ass' kot da jhur') n. The businessman who tucks his designer tie between the buttons on his shirt during lunch, thus preventing soilage.

ASHTRACTION
(ash track' shun) n. The point at which you stop paying attention to what a person is saying and start wandering just how much longer the ash at the end of his cigarette is going to grow before it falls into his lap.

ASPHILATION
(as fil' ay shun) n. The feeling of suspense experienced when viewing a cigarette with a long ash that's ready to fall off.

ASPIRBAYERPERPAIRPERFECTION
(as pur bayr' pur payr' pur fek' shun) n. The ability to always extract exactly two headache tablets from the bottle.

ASPITRON
(ah' spit ron) n. The tiny brain in an aspirin that tells it exactly what part of the afflicted body to go to.

ASTEREXASPER
(as tuhr eggs as' pur) n. An asterisk with no corresponding footnote.

ATACHAHHHHH CASE
(ah ta chahhhh' kays) n. A spilled briefcase.

ATE T & T
(ate tee' un tee') n. The phone-booth phenomenon that occurs when the one page you need in the phone book is missing.

ATHELESOTERICS
(ath uh less oh ter' iks) n. The obscure sports no one really participates in except during the Olympics-skiing and shooting, synchronized swimming, and the luge.

ATTACHMINTS
(at tatch' mintz) n. Little heart-shaped Valentine candies that say "I Love You," "Be Mine," and "I'm Yours."

ATTRINYL
(a try' nil) n. (chemical symbol: At) A black, bulletproof, totally inflexible type of plastic, used primarily in covers of pay phone directories.

AUDIOSIS
(odd ee oh' sis) v. Hearing a sound you don't notice until it stops, e.g., the furnace or refrigerator shutting off.

AULD LANG DANG
(old lang dang') v. To be with the wrong person when the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve.

AULDLANXIETY
(old lang zi' et ee) n. Experience of waking up on New Year's Day and wondering how much of a fool you made of yourself.

AUTOAUTHORATION
(ot' to auth' or ay' shun) n. Any exasperating attempt made through a car window to ask the driver in the next lane if you can get in front of him.

AUTOBLIVIAN
The unfamiliar twenty-mile stretch you drive hoping to see a recognizable building to confirm you're not really lost.

AUTOBONDING
(aw' toh' bond ing) v. While on the road, the compulsion to wave at the person next to you because they're driving the exact same model car.

AUTOCHONDRIAC
(aht' oh kon' dree ak) n. The knowledge that at any moment you'll have to take your car in for a major repair, even though you just got it back from the mechanic.

AUTOCRYPTIC
(ah' toe krip' tik) n. Personalized license plates that require careful scrutiny to decipher. (These are particularly distracting to the driver behind the vehicle displaying them.

AUTOLAUNCHE
(ah' to launch) n. When everything falls out of the glove compartment as you open it.

AUTONESIA
(ah toe nee' zha) v. To forget where you parked your car.

AUTOPIA
(ah tow' pee uh) n. The secret and hopefully safe place valet parkers take your car-and where you would have parked on your own had you known where it was.

AUTORATING
(aw' to ray' ting) v. Talking to your car on a cold, wintry day, begging it to start.

AUTOVENGE
The satisfaction of seeing the driver weaved in and out of traffic arrive behind you at the next light.

AVANT GARB
(ah' vant garb') n. The formerly fashionable, but now useless, clothing that is hard to part with (i.e., bell-bottoms, love beads, disco shoes).

AVISTIFIED
(ay viss' ti fyed) n. Bewilderment experienced when the valet parker asks you for a description of your car, and you can't answer because it's a rental.

AVIWASTE
(ay' vih waste) n. The white lines remaining in the sky long after an airplane has disappeared.

AWSLICE
(aww' slice) n. The first slice of a wedding cake. The one which ruins the design and causes everyone to sigh.

AZUGOS
(as' you goes) n. Items to be carried upstairs by the next ascending person.